teacher: i’m gonna-
me: mAke iT bENd AnD bREaK, saY A pRAyEr And leT tHE goOD TiMEs roLL [SLOWLY RISE OUT OF SEAT], in cASe God DOesn’t shOW [JUMPS ONTO CHAIR] aND i WaNt thESe WORds tO mAke tHiNGs RIght BUt iT’s tHe WroNGs That mAke thE wORds cOme To LiFe [THROWS DESK ACROSS THE ROOM] “WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?” If tHaT’s thE WOrst yoU Got bETter pUt YOur FinGErs BAck tO thE kEYs [DROP KICKS TEACHER] oNe niGHt anD oNe MorE tImE [BUSTS DOWN DOOR TO ANOTHER CLASS] tHAnkS fOr thE mEMoriEs evEN tHOugH tHEy WERen’t sO GReat [UPPERCUTS A PLAY DOUGH CAN] “He TaSTes liKE yOu oNLy sWEetEr.”
so why does the flexed bicep emoji hands looks like a sloth
(Source: invades, via ruinedchildhood)
The NYPD tried to start a hashtag outpouring of positive memories with their police force.
If this were ever a bad idea, it was probably the worst idea for arguably the most corrupt police force in America.
And just how did they think this was going to play out/
my thoughts EXACTLY
They played themselves. I can’t stop laughing!
Those women are doing a public service, Chris.
I will defend my favorite band member faster than myself
(Source: twelfthdoctah, via iwantmygun)
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin